Last year I started to play computer games. Not occasionally like I played before but more often. I’ve met wonderful people on my journey through Azeroth. I’ve started playing with my homies (which I’m not sure is a proper word) but then one day we fell apart. I was sad. It happens to people when they are playing one game for almost a year and spend their time together. I’m still in touch with some of them because we found common topics and we still communicate because it’s worth it. At least for me. And getting over it can be sometimes hard.

I decided to join an international guild. I’m a shy speaker. I’m always afraid to speak in English because I think I’m not good at it. But I faced my fears, which was a really big step for me. I didn’t talk with them for a while. I was just playing with them, not saying a word on the voice channel. And then one day I got a little bit drunk and started talking. It’s kind of my thing. Every time I get drunk I can speak fluently in English. Or at least I think it’s fluent. Probably it’s just incoherent speech and it’s just me who thinks people can understand me. And now I can do it even without alcohol. Obviously, I still don’t talk with everyone in this community. I don’t know them. I never know if they’ll make fun of my accent or something else, because sometimes even if something sounds like a joke, it’s really not a joke. It’s more like an offense. They’re using your fears and insecurities against you to feel powerful. Those people are kind of insecure themselves and they need to do it to feel better. I’m just glad I didn’t meet anyone who would do this so far, or if I did, I’m just trying to not give a shit.

But then there are people I love to talk to. They’re, well, sometimes they’re too much to handle. They are ironic, even perverted sometimes, but what surprises me so much is this kind of thing… they’re still playing around, mocking me, testing my nerves and mind. But when I speak with them, I can forget everything. They never push me aside when I need them. Or so at least I think that. Their impact is sometimes even healing. One day I told them everything and after I ended my story my soul became very light. I just threw off my burden I was carrying for some time now. They probably soaked everything of it. They even made me send them my poetry which kind of sucks because it’s translated into English. They did (actually just one guy, second was kind of silent, thank you for that) make fun of it and at first, I was sad but then who can blame him. They’re playing around. I just laugh with them almost all the time. They’re calling me a witch, they are telling me I’m cursing people and then they will just find another topic to mock me with. At first, they told me this witch thing, I cared, but their constant mocking means I’m part of the gang. I learned to backfire at them. I used to do it myself a few years back but then I’m not sure what happened. I just stopped being as bold and brass, but these guys, they put me back on track. It will probably take me some time in the real world to get back my impudence, but at least I can try, right?

And, well, they dug up their place in my heart. They’re even rooted there. It’s good because it means their presence in my life isn’t useless. Not all of them, but at least some can listen to me. It seems they see me. Well, they don’t, but it’s fine to think that. What’s fine for me is fine for them I guess. I could thank them for every day I spent with them on voice channel and it still wouldn’t be enough. On one hand that’s kind of naive, I made friends via a game and we are just talking, unable to see each other, but on the other side, that’s what coronavirus did. We can close ourselves in different worlds, where diseases can be cleansed. I ran away there to hide myself from people and the outside world and found new ones that I don’t want to be hidden from. One day I hope I’ll meet them all. They’re really cool guys, somehow sweet and sour at the same time. But most of the time good-hearted. And that’s what really counts after all. 

^{Very addicting, real and noble, daring ass.}

witch from the woods